What ED Gave to Me

We read often about what the ED took away from us -- so much and too numerous to mention. I often think what did ED give me that may have been positive? Was there anything at all? Yes, there is.

I have met some of the most amazing people through this journey. Their courage and grace has held me in awe. My faith resurfaced, stronger. I learned a lot about myself. I got stronger in ways I never knew possible. My compassion deepened. I judge less. I accept what comes. I never, ever, ask anyone -- anymore -- if they have lost weight. It's always "it's so good to see you".

I've learned to trust less, trust more, trust me. I have learned that you cannot go through something as tough as battling ED and not be a different person on the other side. ED did give me some gifts. Not all were wrapped in pretty packages and colorful bows. Some were ugly. I learned with each up and each down. I learned what I could control and what I could not. Most times I learned I could not. I hit my knees more often and prayed for guidance and help. I talked less and listened more.

I learned that the light at the end of a tunnel was sometimes a train heading straight for me. I learned to dodge that train. I learned not to panic. I learned not to make decisions when I felt desperate. Desperation lends itself to bad decisions. I learned to reach out and really did not care how I was judged or how my family was looked upon. I learned that everyone is going through something and sometimes a smile or a small word of encouragement can change someone's day. I learned tasks can wait, but a serene walk cannot. With every step and every mistake and every heartbreak, I learned. I am still learning.

So, look for the good in this day. It's there -- buried somewhere beneath the pain and the hurt and the fear. Don't let fear be in charge. Don't let exhaustion win. Nurture your soul. Nurture your heart. Nurture your spirit.