Happy Tuesday ~ it has been a while since I have posted on this blog and I do apologize. Time to be honest. I was having a conflict as to whether or not I wanted to continue with the support group or anything else relating to an eating disorder. I felt burdened. Yes, burdened. Burdened. Heavy. I could not explain it. Perhaps it was time to pass the reins on to someone else; however, I was not going to make any hasty decisions.
I was sitting on my sofa in my family room really thinking about what was going on. Where were these feelings coming from? I started to pray. I asked God for help with this decision. Was it really time to move on? The phone rang interrupting my talk with God . . . hmmm . . . Hello? It was a parent . . . their daughter had an eating disorder . . . they did not know what to do . . . we talked. At the end that parent thanked me for being there. For listening.
Shortly thereafter, I left for my support group meeting. We had some new faces that night. One mother walked in and the pain in her eyes was the same pain I saw in my own many years ago. I had my answer.
This was not about me. This was about all those families who are looking for answers. If I still allowed the eating disorder, through my help with others, to be burdensome then I had to look at my motives for helping others. Thankfully, my family has moved past this disease. It no longer has a hold on us, but I was still allowing it, indirectly, to yet again become a burden. I sent it packing. I realized that I cannot "fix" this disease for others, but I can offer them hope, an ear and a hug. Sometimes, that is all that matters.
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