College Dilemma

Good morning -- happy Thursday.  Just returned from my morning walk with my lab, Haylee.  We don't go as fast or as far as we used to -- we're both older and stiffness from her two knee surgeries have definitely slowed her down.  However, she still enjoys getting out to smell, meet her dog friends and imagine chasing those elusive squirrels.

A recent topic of discussion that seems to come up often at support group is whether or not to send a child away to college who had, or still is, battling an eating disorder.  That is a tough dilemma and one my husband and I faced some years ago.  If I had to do it over again, I would not have let her go away to college.  I knew she wasn't stable enough to handle the transition into college, both physically and emotionally.  However, I let her go.  Less then three weeks later, she was back home.   Her decision to not return to school, live at home and attend a local community college was the right one.

Families need to work closely with their treatment team and decide what is the best course of action depending on where their loved one is in their disorder.  A treatment team and support system needs to be in place wherever they are going to live.   A geographical relocation does not mean the eating disorder will not follow them to college.  It will be their constant companion until they are strong enough to stop listening to it's seductive voice. 

Disappointment will surely follow a decision to not allow a child to move away and attend college, especially when all of their friends are talking about and deciding where they will be going.  One question I always asked myself when deciding what to do was this:

Am I making this decision because it makes me feel better and alleviates my guilt or am I making this decision because it is the best one for my daughter's future?

Doing what is right is sometimes heartbreaking. It certainly was for me.  Eating disorders just don't go away.  It takes hard work and a tremendous amount of time, but there is hope and there is light at the end of what seems a long and dark tunnel.