The operative word here is "their" battle. This disease is a family disease. Treatment has come a long way since my daughter was diagnosed many years ago. My attitude was to just "fix her" and we can all get on with life. The disease had disrupted my sense of self and family. Also, what if people found out? The stigma! The bottom line is I was embarrassed and ashamed of having this label put on our family.
It is important that families move past the shame and the blame. Don't waste precious time trying to determine why your loved one has an eating disorder. It's here now, deal with it now. Reach out to others who know how to help you and support you. You will get well-meaning, sometimes hurtful, comments from other family members and friends. Bottom line is - they don't understand what you are going through. Tell them you appreciate what they are saying and then move on. This disease is so complex and recovery is not easy -- for the sufferer or the family. Everyone needs to do their own work. Families need to stand united against the disease and help loosen it's grip on the sufferer.
It is also important to make that distinction between the person and the disease. Your loved one is not an eating disorder. They will need to learn that distinction and it will help if you do, too. I came across this quote some years ago:
What makes eating disorders difficult to overcome without professional help is the insidious way they progressively damage an already impaired self.
They ultimately become the person’s identity, rather than merely an illness the person experiences.
As the family shared their experience, it was evident to me that they all worked together. From the pain on their faces, I could tell it was not an easy road. They are still receiving professional guidance as they continue to navigate the path towards full recovery.
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