Sunday, September 13, 2015

They Just Don't "Get It"

In my discussions with parents regarding their loved one's eating disorder, I often hear of the difficulties with people who just don't "get it". The comments are hurtful. The comments cut. The comments bring us to tears. The comments make us angry. The comments make us wonder why. Wonder how family and friends can be so utterly clueless.



 I do believe eating disorders fall into a category of blame and choice. It's easier to place blame and assume it is a choice than to truly try and understand the pain and the proven science behind the illness. While I do know some people comment with the best of intentions, those intentions are misguided. Would you tell someone who has a loved one with cancer that their behavior is a choice, so that is why they have a scary illness? Would you tell someone who has a loved one with diabetes that it's their fault because they modeled poor eating habits? No, you would not.



 I am at a loss for words to explain the heartless comments and the unthinkable hurt they cause. Acceptance of that fact was hard for me. We need to hang onto what we know is true. We know it is true that it is not our fault. We know it is true that this disease shakes us to our very core. We know that this disease takes so much away. We know that this disease cannot be understood unless it has mowed you down, too. I am thankful that people don't understand. I would not wish it on anyone. (Well, maybe for one day -- then they would get it!). They won't get it. They can't get it. We can only hope our voices will make a difference. We are strong. We are loud. We can make a difference.



Respect yourself and don't allow others to make you feel otherwise. We have been through enough and we don't need other people's opinions of us to make it worse. Know that and tattoo that on your soul. Unless they have walked with you, they just don't know. You can tell them that.  Then you can walk away.

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